You may shake your head with painful memories of large dollar amounts lost, and swear on a stack of Bibles that you're going to never again be foolish sufficient to engage in a shoot-out with the One-Armed Bandit, but who are you kidding? Maybe, with just a little luck, you will be able to resist the call of the slot machine for a couple of weeks, perhaps even a month or two. But you know damn well that you'll be back for a rematch eventually. You cannot just let that Bandit win so easily, can you? No way.

It's just a machine, of course, with a "brain" comprised of wires and microchips. You, having said that, are a living, breathing entity with the capacity for critical thinking and self-reflection. If humankind is to have any hope at all in surviving the global war against machines that surely will come some day, we would better at least be able to beat the slots. Think of the matter in this particular sort of sweeping historical context and you shall see that it is not simply a choice but an obligation that you should get back on the horse right away.

Before launching on your noble quest in defense of humanity, it will be wise to review some basic information and arm yourself with five crucial tips to success.

You may not realize that the slot machine passes by different names in overseas nations. For example, Recommended Website in the United Kingdom, it really is called a fruit machine (no jokes about British drag queens, please.) In Australia, the slot is referred to as a "poker machine," which is even more confusing, but what can you expect from a culture that gives outdoor grills the name of just a little girl's toy? (Let it sink in for a minute, you are going to get it.)

Anyway, traditional American slot machines are coin-operated and contain three or even more reels, which spin whenever a lever on the side of the machine is pulled. The machines include a currency detector that validates the money inserted to play. The machine typically pays off determined by patterns of symbols visible when the reels stop.

OK, enough for the description. Essentially, onto those tips that have been promised several paragraphs ago:

Become intimately acquainted with each slot machine's payout schedule. Two identical slot machines will often have radically different payouts. This matters, people.

Look for advertised slot machines offering 96-98% paybacks. Most casinos usually have a few banks or carousels of high percentage payback slots, and this is in which you should play.

Join the casino players club wherever you gamble regularly. Casinos reward players for money and time spent. Even if you do not hit the jackpot, you might still receive comps like meals, discount hotel rooms, as well as other perks.

This will be a no-brainer, but only play the slot machines you can afford and only spend money you may risk losing. Seriously.

Walk away when you're losing and become irritated. Playing slot machines is supposed to be an enjoyable pastime, not a source of ulcer-inducing frustration. When it's no longer fun, go get a drink and some fresh air.